Your Google profile, against the three names beside it.

What it is

I pull your Google Business Profile and the three real competitors that show up for your searches, then line them up on one page: how many reviews each has and how fast they are collecting them, which categories and attributes they carry that you do not, photos, posts, Q&A, and the citations that back the listing up. Each line names the competitor and the gap. The last section says what closes each gap, in order of what pays first.

It arrives as a PDF within one business day of the order. One page, because a verdict you can read standing in the shop is worth more than a forty-page report nobody opens.

What it is not

It is not a promise of rankings. Nobody honest makes one, and Google does not take instructions from me. It is not a plan, either: the autopsy tells you where the profile is bleeding, and the work to close the gaps is a separate decision that you make with the verdict in hand. If the profile is already beating all three, the PDF says so, and you have spent $98 to know it.

How to order

Order by calling (847) 387-0244 until the Stripe link is live. Tell me the business name, the Google profile or the city plus the name, where to send the PDF, and a number for one text if something is unclear. If you know your three competitors, say so. If not, I use the three Google shows for your searches. No card is charged on this page.

Available soon

ONE REPLY FROM ME. NO LIST, NO SEQUENCE, NO SPAM. SEE THE PRIVACY POLICY.

What the PDF contains

The page opens with the competitor table: each business, its primary category, how many categories it carries, rating, review count, the review velocity floor per month, and where each one lands for your searches. Under it, Categories to add and Attributes to add, split into non-negotiable (all three competitors have them), strong (two of three), and differentiators (one of three). Then the Review target: the count to beat and the monthly pace that beats it.

Posts, photos, Q&A, and citations do not come from any API, so I read them off the live profiles myself and write the gaps in plain words. Your website rides along as a site autopsy: a leak count out of ten, The five that cost the most, The copy, and What a rebuild fixes. Every line points at a page or a profile and a check, nothing is opinion.

Credit toward a plan. Start any plan after the autopsy and the $98 comes off the first month in full. You are not buying a report and then paying for it again inside the plan.

Straight answers

Common questions

What do I get for $98?

One PDF, one page, with your Google Business Profile lined up against the three competitors that actually show up for your searches: review count and pace, categories and attributes they carry that you do not, photos, posts, Q&A, and citations. Every line names the competitor and the gap.

How fast does it arrive?

Within one business day of the order. If I need a detail from you, I text first, and the clock starts when I have it.

Does the $98 count toward anything?

Yes. The full $98 is credited against the first month of any plan, care plan or Marketing Department. If you never start a plan, the verdict is still yours.

Do you promise rankings?

No. Nobody honest does. The autopsy tells you where the profile is losing to the three names next to it and what closes each gap. Doing the work is what moves a profile, and even then Google decides.

What do you need from me?

Your business name, a link to the profile or the city plus the name, an email for the PDF, and a phone number for one text if something is unclear. If you know who your three competitors are, say so; if not, I use the three Google shows.

Ready? Call (847) 387-0244 with the business name and I send the invoice. Your move.